Every love relationship has its ups and downs, and they all require effort, dedication, and the desire to adapt and evolve alongside your partner.
You can take action to establish a healthy relationship, whether you’re just starting out or have been together for years.
Even if you’ve had several unsuccessful relationships in the past or struggled to reignite the romance in your current relationship, there are methods to stay connected, achieve contentment, and enjoy long-term happiness.
What makes a relationship healthy?
Every relationship is different, and individuals meet for a variety of reasons.
Sharing a similar objective for your relationship and where you want it to go is part of what characterizes a good relationship.
And you’ll only know that if you have a long and honest conversation with your spouse.
There are, nevertheless, some features that most good partnerships share.
Whatever objectives you’re working for or obstacles you’re facing together, knowing these basic principles may help maintain your relationship interesting, engaging, and exciting.
You keep a solid emotional bond with one another.
You make each other feel loved and fulfilled emotionally.
Being loved and feeling loved are two different things.
When you’re loved, you feel welcomed and cherished by your spouse, as if they understand you.
Some relationships become caught in a state of peaceful cohabitation without the parties emotionally engaging with one other.
While the relationship may appear solid on the surface, a lack of continuing commitment and emotional connection contributes to widening the gap between two individuals.
You’re not frightened of (civil) debate.
Some couples communicate in hushed tones, while others may raise their voices and argue vehemently.
However, you must not be afraid of disputes to have a good relationship.
You must be able to communicate your concerns without fear of reprisal, and you must be able to resolve conflicts without shame, degradation, or insistence on being right.
You maintain outside contacts and interests.
Despite what romantic novels or movies may promise, no single person can fulfill all of your wants.
Expecting too much from your spouse can put undue strain on a relationship.
Maintaining your own identity outside of the relationship, maintaining relationships with family and friends, and maintaining your hobbies and interests are essential ways to excite and deepen your love partnership.
You are open and honest in your communication.
A fundamental component of every relationship is effective communication.
It may improve trust and deepen the tie between you when both individuals know what they want from the relationship and feel comfortable expressing their needs, worries, and desires.
The difference between falling in love and remaining in love
For the most part, falling in love appears to be a natural process.
It takes dedication and hard effort to stay in love or keep that “falling in love” feeling alive.
It is, however, well worth the effort given the benefits.
A solid, stable love relationship may be a constant source of support and satisfaction in your life, bolstering all elements of your well-being in good times and bad.
You may develop a meaningful relationship that lasts—even for a lifetime—by trying to maintain or revive your falling in love experience.
Many couples only pay attention to their relationship when they have particular, inescapable challenges to solve.
They frequently return their attention to their work, children, or other hobbies once the difficulties have been handled.
On the other hand, romantic relationships need continual care and commitment to thrive.
It will take your attention and effort as long as the health of a romantic connection is vital to you.
And recognizing and resolving a minor issue in your relationship now may frequently help avoid it from becoming a much greater one later on.
The following suggestions might assist you in preserving that first love experience and maintaining a good romantic relationship.
SUGGESTION 1 – Spend quality face-to-face time.
You fall in love with each other through gazing at each other and listening to each other.
You may maintain the falling-in-love feeling throughout time if you continue to look and listen with the same attentiveness.
You undoubtedly have wonderful recollections of your first dates with your significant other.
Everything felt fresh and exciting, and you probably spent hours simply conversing or brainstorming new and exciting things to try.
However, as time passes, the pressures of work, family, other obligations, and the desire we all have for alone time may make finding time together more difficult.
Many couples notice that their early dating days of face-to-face communication are increasingly being replaced by hasty texts, emails, and instant messaging.
While digital communication is helpful for some things, it does not have the same good influence on your brain and nervous system as face-to-face conversation.
It’s OK to send your spouse a text or voice message saying “I love you,” but if you don’t look at them or have time to sit down with them, they’ll still think you don’t understand or respect them.
As a relationship, you’ll become increasingly distant or disengaged.
The emotional cues you both need to feel loved can only be delivered in person, so make time for each other no matter how hectic your lives grow.
Commit to spending quality time with your partner regularly.
Take a few minutes each day, no matter how busy you are, to put down your technological gadgets, stop thinking about other things, and truly focus on and connect with your spouse.
Find something you both like doing together, whether it’s a common interest, a dancing class, a regular stroll, or a morning cup of coffee.
Together, try something new.
Trying new things as a family may be fun to bond and keep things fresh.
It might be as easy as trying out a new restaurant or taking a day excursion to a different location.
Concentrate on having a good time with your friends.
In the early phases of a relationship, couples are frequently more lighthearted and enjoyable.
However, this humorous approach can be lost when life’s obstacles get in the way or old resentments pile up.
Maintaining a sense of humor may assist you in getting through difficult situations, reducing stress, and resolving conflicts more quickly.
Consider creative methods to surprise your partner, such as bringing flowers home or scheduling a table at their favorite restaurant on the spur of the moment.
Playing with tiny children or dogs can also help you rediscover your fun side.
Collaborate on projects that benefit others.
Focusing on something you and your spouse appreciate outside of the relationship is one of the most powerful ways to stay close and connected.
Volunteering for a cause, project, or community service that both of you care about may keep a relationship new and fresh.
It may also introduce you to new individuals and ideas, allow you to work together on new problems, and provide you new opportunities to communicate with one another.
Doing activities to assist others brings enormous joy in addition to relieving stress, worry, and sadness.
Humans are hardwired to assist others.
Individually and as a pair, the more you contribute, the happier you’ll be.
SUGGESTION 2: Communicate to stay connected.
A good partnership relies on effective communication.
You feel comfortable and happy when you have a positive emotional connection with your companion.
People stop relating when they stop communicating correctly, and times of transition or stress can exacerbate the distance.
It may sound basic, but as long as you communicate, you should be able to work through whatever issues you’re having.
Please don’t leave it up to your spouse to figure out what you require.
It’s not always simple to express your needs.
Many of us don’t devote enough time to considering what matters most to us in a relationship.
Even if you know what you require, discussing it might make you feel exposed, humiliated, or ashamed.
But consider it from your partner’s perspective.
It is a pleasure, not a burden, to provide comfort and understanding to someone you care about.
If you’ve been dating for a long, you could assume that your partner knows precisely what you’re thinking and what you need.
Your companion, on the other hand, is not a mind reader.
While your spouse may be aware of your demands, it is far better to state them explicitly to avoid any misunderstanding.
Although your spouse may sense something, it may not be what you require.
Furthermore, individuals evolve, and what you need and desire five years ago may be different now.
Instead of allowing resentment, confusion, or rage to arise due to your partner’s inconsistency, develop the practice of telling them exactly what you require.
Pay attention to your partner’s nonverbal signals.
What we don’t say transmits a great deal of our conversation.
Eye contact, tone of voice, posture, and gestures like leaning forward, crossing your arms, or holding someone’s hand express more than words.
You’ll be able to determine how your spouse feels and behave appropriately if you can pick up on their nonverbal indications or “body language.”
To have a successful relationship, each individual must be aware of their own and partner’s nonverbal clues.
Your partner’s reactions may differ from your own.
For example, one individual may regard a hug after a difficult day as a loving way of communication, whereas another may prefer to go for a stroll or sit and talk.
It’s also crucial to ensure that your words and body language sync.
If you claim “I’m OK,” yet clench your teeth and turn away, your body indicates that you are not.
You feel loved and happy when your spouse sends positive emotional cues, and your partner feels the same when you provide positive emotional cues.
When you cease caring about your own or your partner’s feelings, your relationship suffers, and your communication capacity suffers, especially during difficult times.
Listen attentively.
While our society places a lot of emphasis on talking, learning to listen in a way that makes another person feel appreciated and understood may help you develop a deeper, stronger bond.
There’s a tremendous difference between this listening and just hearing.
You’ll notice minor intonations in your partner’s voice that tell you how they’re feeling and the emotions they’re attempting to transmit if you listen—when you’re engaged with what’s being said.
Being a good listener does not imply that you must agree or modify your viewpoint with your spouse.
However, it will assist you in identifying shared points of view that will aid in resolving a dispute.
Try not to get anxious.
You’re more prone to misjudge your romantic partner, convey confused or off-putting nonverbal signals, or fall into harmful knee-jerk behavior when you’re worried or emotionally overloaded.
How often have you been overwhelmed and snapped at a loved one, saying or doing something you regretted afterward?
You’ll not only prevent such regrets if you can learn to handle tension rapidly and return to a peaceful condition, but you’ll also help to avoid conflict and misunderstandings—and even help to calm your spouse when tempers flare.
SUGGESTION 3: Maintain physical closeness.
Touch is an essential aspect of human life.
The necessity of frequent, emotional interaction for brain development has been demonstrated in studies on babies.
And the advantages don’t stop when you’re a kid.
Affectionate touch raises oxytocin levels, a hormone that impacts attachment and bonding.
While sex is frequently a cornerstone of committed relationships, it should not be the primary means of physical closeness.
Touch that is frequent and affectionate—holding hands, embracing, kissing—is also essential.
Of course, it’s critical to be aware of your partner’s preferences.
Unwanted touching or improper approaches might make the other person stiffen up and withdraw, which is the opposite of what you want.
This, like so many other facets of a successful relationship, might come down to how well you and your spouse express your wants and goals.
Even if you have a busy schedule or small children, you can assist in keeping physical intimacy alive by scheduling regular couple time, whether it’s a date night or simply an hour at the end of the day when you can sit and speak or hold hands.
SUGGESTION 4: Learn how to give but also how to receive.
If you expect to obtain what you want 100 percent of the time in a relationship, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment.
Compromise is the foundation of a healthy relationship.
However, it takes effort on the side of each individual to ensure that there is a fair trade.
Recognize your partner’s priorities.
Knowing what your spouse values most may go a long way toward fostering goodwill and a climate of compromise.
On the other hand, it’s critical that your spouse understands your desires and that you express them clearly.
Constantly putting others’ needs ahead of your own can only lead to resentment and hatred.
Don’t set yourself the aim of “winning.”
It will be challenging to find a compromise if you approach your spouse with the mindset that things must be done your way or else.
This attitude can stem from a lack of needs being satisfied when you were younger, or it might result from years of collected bitterness in the relationship reaching a boiling point.
It’s OK to be passionate about something, but your spouse has a right to be heard.
Respect the other person and their point of view.
Learn how to handle conflicts courteously.
Conflict is unavoidable in any relationship, but both parties must feel heard for a partnership to remain strong.
The objective is to preserve and build the relationship rather than to win.
Make sure you’re battling on an even playing field.
Keep your attention on the task at hand and show respect for the other person.
Don’t get into a fight over something you can’t alter.
Instead of attacking someone directly, utilize “I” expressions to express your feelings.
Instead of stating, “You make me feel horrible,” try saying, “I feel bad when you do that.”
Don’t bring up prior arguments in the discussion.
Rather than assigning blame for previous disagreements or grudges, concentrate on what you can do right now to remedy the situation.
Be ready to forgive.
If you’re reluctant or unable to forgive people, you’ll never be able to resolve a problem.
Take a break if tempers start to rise.
Before you say or do something you’ll regret, take a few minutes to reduce stress and calm down.
Always keep in mind that you’re arguing with someone you care about.
Recognize when it’s time to let things go.
Agree to disagree if you can’t come to an agreement.
A dispute requires two individuals to keep going.
You can opt to withdraw and move on if a disagreement isn’t going anywhere.
SUGGESTION 5: Expect some ups and downs.
Every partnership has its ups and downs, which must be acknowledged.
You won’t always agree on everything.
Sometimes one of the partners is dealing with a stressful situation, such as the death of a close family member.
Other circumstances, such as job loss or severe health issues, can impact both couples and make it harder to relate to one another.
You may have different views about managing your finances or raising your children.
Various people deal with stress differently, and miscommunications may quickly escalate into annoyance and fury.
Don’t blame your partner for your difficulties.
Life’s worries might make us irritable.
When you’re under a lot of stress, it may seem simpler to vent to your spouse or even safer to snap at them.
Fighting like this may feel good at first, but it will progressively poison your relationship.
Other healthy ways to deal with stress, anger, and irritation can be found.
Attempting to push a solution might result in even more issues.
Every individual approaches difficulties and situations in their unique way.
Keep in mind that you’re part of a group.
Keeping moving ahead together might help you get through the difficult times.
Take a look back at the beginning of your relationship.
Discuss the events that brought you together, the point at which you began to drift apart, and how you may work together to recapture that feeling of falling in love.
Be flexible and adaptable.
Change is unavoidable in life, and you may either embrace it or oppose it.
Flexibility is necessary to adapt to the constant change that occurs in any relationship, and it helps you develop together in both good and challenging times.
But always, in any case, if possible, see if you can reach out with the help of a professional.